2020 Blues

Where do you go when outside is closed and the walls are closing in on you ?

Where do you go when the emotions are running through you like spoiled milk on a hot day and you can’t save yourself from drowning in your own mess ?

Where do you go when the people closest to you can’t ease the pain ?

Where do you go when the sunshine is dim and there’s only rain ?

Where do you go when the love just isn’t the same ?

Where the fuck do you go ?

I got me forever

you wanna get to know me ?

Do you really ? Or is my physical appearance forcing you to say things you don’t really mean

Because I’m used to that shit and I’m not going to sit here and call you a liar but I don’t believe you, I don’t believe you want to explore what my mind has to offer rather than my body..

you’re the type to make girls fall in love with your facade, the first few months you’ll pretend to be the perfect guy for me and when I least expect it you will switch up, you will become less consistent, inconsiderate and insensitive to my feelings

I’m good on that

I’m good on feelings

I’m good on temporary people

I’m good on love

I got me forever

Lurkin

I’m not perfect but I know damn well I’m worth it

Sick of the hurtin and stressin and lurkin..

On your page to see if you’ve mentioned me..

Literally, subliminally, I don’t care

As long as I know I’m there,

in the back of your mind, it’s just not fair..

How can you forget about me ? Was I not enough ? This was not trust but only lust ?

I’m tired.. I keep checking to see if you miss me but nothing’s there

Even though you were never the type to share ..your emotions online like I tend to do, I thought you cared but that wasn’t true

I now see it was me all along, it wasn’t you.. you showed me who you were from day 1 and I didn’t believe it, didn’t run .. I was the one who didn’t keep it real with me, not you.

Your potential clouded my judgment, I already knew..you wasn’t shit

I always hear the train..

3:25 A.M

It’s late and I can’t sleep, my body is on toss, turn, repeat..
My mind is on the year 2020, seems like plenty of time to get my life together but is it really ? 

This damn train is driving me insane, it rattles my house like dudes rattle my brain 

I always hear the train because I’m always up late

I’m always up late because I always hear the train..